Breathe

I never realized how much of my life I'd spent holding my breath until I took my first yoga class. Since then, I mostly am aware of my breathing. But I seem to have stumbled across a old pattern of breath-holding this week.

I took on a project a couple weeks ago, excited and full of creative energy. I jumped in head first hardly coming up for air at meal time, eating in gulps at my computer. And everything flowed perfectly. I couldn't sleep at night imagining my perfect end result and eagerly began each workday. Obsessive compulsive you say? Yep, and huge adrenalin rushes as each new idea sprang to life. Not breathing yet.

And then, it all took a nose dive. Last weekend I began to run into one problem after another. Appropriate for Father's Day, in my head I heard my Dad's voice say, "If you can't do it right, don't do it at all." That was his way of encouraging me to do a good job. But somehow it got translated in my brain to, "If you can't be perfect, you might as well quit!" Now really! I'm an adult and I know better, but my gut was in turmoil and things went from bad to worse. I fought with this all week and was a basket case by Thursday when I finished the project. I felt defeated. Still not breathing. Achy body, headache, verge of tears all because I hadn't allowed my breath to help me find my center and my real truth. The truth is, I know few people will see the imperfections that I see. I gave it my all and I did the best I could do. I didn't quit.

I went to yoga this morning and breathed in deep. I feel much better today and am taking a much-needed break. I know that being a perfectionist is not a bad thing when it comes to my work. The challenge is to break the old pattern of beating myself up when things don't go smoothly. I even know from experience, sometimes the unexpected end result is much better than the planned results. And there are always lessons to be learned from the mistakes. That's not a bad thing. And there's always a new week to begin again.

A Flower at My Door

The shelves above my sewing area and my desk are in place and most things have found a home. Unfortunately, the yarn shelves will have to wait a little longer since I'm working with a deadline on another exciting silk project -- more about that later.
But in the meantime, I couldn't resist this Mandeville that I found on sale this week. I think it's perfect just outside my new french doors.

New Studio

Evidence of construction is still everywhere, but my new french door makes any mess tolerable. And my loom has found it's new home just inside the door. The natural light is amazing.

Take a look at the artwork I hung above my loom. These are woven fabric photos of my great aunts' quilting and my grandmother at her sewing machine. How could I not have become a fiber person?

Back In The Saddle Again!

. . . and I couldn't be happier! After a very, very long hiatus, I finally have my very own creative space.

Things are still in a bit of a shambles. I'm waiting on my handy man hubby to help put up the shelves this weekend. In the meantime, the yarn and notions are still in boxes and a variety of things haven't found a home yet.

But I set up my sewing station and couldn't help myself -- I started designing.

After the Fiber Arts Fiesta in Albuquerque last week, I visited my friend Joann Winkler at Vintage Cowgirl in Old Town. She has some of my garments in her boutique. I was so inspired after looking at her new selections for this year that I sketched out a plan for a new jacket. So yesterday, I pulled out my inspiration notebook and using two pieces of rayon chenille fabric which had been woven of the same warp but different wefts, I began to cut and sew. Today I have a completed garment. Yeehah!

New Studio -- soon?

I'm still homeless from my studio but as the season turns to summer, my inspiration has returned and I breathe a sigh of relief. This is what I've been waiting for. After months of seemingly no direction, I find myself with my notebook beside me jotting and sketching my new inspirations for weaving and silk images. I can hardly wait to unpack all my long buried yarns and supplies and get back to work. I must say, I am grateful to have this little spot right in my own backyard. I know it will have been worth the wait!

Photo: Dragonfly at Bitter Lake, Computer enhanced and manipulated

Bamboo Baby Blanket

Many weeks later . . . yes, I'm finally back at this blog, amazing!

Since I last wrote, my grandson decided to join us early which meant I had to quickly finish weaving the bamboo baby blanket. I cut it off and finished it the day before I left for the airport. I was in Pittsburgh for several weeks to help with the baby. I was thrilled to have this opportunity and to deliver the new blanket in person.

And now my studio is painted and finish work should be completed next week. I'm ready to be back at work in my own space again. Updates will follow soon, I promise.

In the Meantime

My studio is progressing. I've hired someone to drywall and in a couple of weeks I should have the walls painted and the floor finished.

In the meantime, I wasn't sure whether my new grandson-to-be would make his appearance before I could weave his special blanket. So I temporarily set up my loom in the guesthouse bedroom.

The blaket is almost ready to be cut off. And there's just enough yarn left to weave fabric for a matching pillow for big brother.

In addition, I've been teaching myself to spin with a drop spindle. This bit of roving is all that is left of the two ounces of baby alpaca I purchased. I think it wants to be a scarf. My daughter, who learned to spin at age 12 should be proud of me!